Vampire Ethics

From personal stances to more formal written codes, ethics within the vampire community is a fairly common topic and, like so many others, one full of a wide range of opinions and perspectives. Ethics come in many different forms, depending on personal choices and what situations are involved, but everyone involved in the community should follow at least some sort of ethical code with some common basics included.

One of the most important but commonly and sadly overlooked parties involved in the community are the donors. Because of this, donor ethics in particular are not always discussed; so much emphasis is put on the ethics of the vampires, but donors also have ethical responsibilities. First, donors have the responsibility to ensure that they are clean and healthy. This includes being medically clean and free of communicable diseases, infections, or illness that could cause harm to them or to the vampire they are donating to; physically clean and following a proper hygiene routine; and mentally and emotionally healthy . In many ways, common sense is important here; if a donor is sick or extremely stressed, they have the responsibility to tell their vampire that they aren't able to donate until they are healthy and stable again. If the donor is physically donating (either via blood or other means that requires physical contact), it is not an unreasonable request for the donor to be tested for diseases at a local clinic and to show the results of the test to the vampire they are donating to. The donor should also keep in mind that if the same is not offered, it is also a perfectly reasonable request for the vampire to have the same testing if they will be in physical contact with the donor. If a donor finds they're too tired or have been donating too frequently, they need to tell the vampire they're donating to so the relationship can be adjusted so as not to hurt the donor. Similarly, the donor should tell the vampire if there is or will be a change in their life that will impact their ability to donate. The donor has a responsibility to be aware of what is happening and educate themselves as to how the vampire is going to feed, what training they have, and what the possible effects will be on them so they do not agree to something they do not want and do not panic when their vampire does feed on them. One of the main keys is open communication between the donor and vampire.

Ethics for vampires primarily relate to their interaction with a donor. The first ethical responsibility for any vampire is to be honest with themselves and their donor about if they truly are a vampire and truly need to feed; while there is nothing wrong with someone having a blood fetish rather than actually being a vampire, it would be unethical to use the guise of vampirism to find a donor to fill that desire, while the donor believes they are donating to meet a need. The next responsibility for a vampire is to educate themselves. If the vampire is a sang, they need to learn about anatomy and what methods of feeding are or are not safe. Psi vampires have the ethical responsibility to learn to control their feeding, so as not to constantly drain those around them. Also, psi vampires should inform and obtain consent from those they feed directly and significantly on (as opposed to simply wandering through a shopping mall and drawing from the collective energy of the people there). Vampires also have the responsibility to take every possible precaution to prevent harm to their donor or themselves. This includes everything from proper aftercare for the donor after feeding to confirming that both they and their donors are physically and mentally healthy. Vampires must also keep in mind the possible legal ramifications and resolve any ethical concerns they have due to them, which is most often handled by the commonsense requirements that all donors be of legal age and fully consenting. Vampires are responsible for respecting the wishes of their donors. All vampires also have a responsibility to their donor to keep open communication with them about their needs. If a vampire is not feeding enough, it is up to them to discuss it with their donor and come to an agreement about how to rectify the situation. Similarly, the vampire should tell their donor if they are or will be going through something in their life that is likely to change their feeding requirements.

Finally, one of the most important ethical responsibilities for both donors and vampires is mutual respect and lack of abuse or manipulation. One of the most unethical things possible is for a donor to use their being a source of sustenance over their vampire as a means of control or manipulation. Likewise, a vampire should never use their feeding as a threat or take it to an extreme where it becomes no longer consensual for the donor. Both parties [i]always[/i] have the option of ending the arrangement or choosing not to feed or donate. Also, many donors and vampires develop extremely strong bonds and connections ranging from energetic to emotional, and neither party should use those bonds to influence or manipulate the other.

While the finer details of ethics for those within the vampire community often boil down to personal choices and opinions, commonsense, caution, respect, and safety are the keys for most ethical concerns when it comes to vampires and donors.

Ethics Checklist

Vampires:

• Am I actually a vampire and so actually need to feed?
  
  
• Have I educated myself?
  
  
  • Do I know enough about anatomy to not injure my donor?
    
  • Do I know how to control my feeding?
    
  • Do I know how to care for my donor?
    
  
  
• Is my donor of legal age?
  
  
• Is my donor fully aware and consenting of donating?
  
  
• Is what I am doing safe?
  
  
  • Have both my donor and I been tested for diseases or illness?
    
  • Are both my donor and I mentally stable?
    
  
  
• Is the relationship with my donor healthy?
  
  
  • Am I being careful to not manipulate my donor?
    
  • Am I not allowing my donor to manipulate me?
    
  
  
• Am I communicating what I need with my donor?
  
  
• Am I being mindful of my donors needs and wishes?
  
  
  Donors:
  
  
• Is what I am doing safe?
  
  
  • Have both my vampire and I been tested for diseases or illness?
    
  • Are both my vampire and I mentally stable?
    
  • Has my vampire educated themselves?
    
  
  
• Is the relationship with my vampire healthy?
  
  
  • Am I being careful to not manipulate my vampire?
    
  • Am I not allowing my vampire to manipulate me?
    
  
  
• Have I educated myself about what my vampire needs?
  
  
  • Do I know how my vampire is going to feed?
    
  • Do I know what the effects of donating are?
    
  
  
• Am I communicating what I need and want with my vampire?

Shielding Around Vampires

One key thing that I think often gets skimmed over and forgotten when people are dealing with shielding around vampires, and specifically large number of vampires who may or may not be in very good control of their draw on others' energy (the latter being extremely common in fairly newly awakened psi vampires), is that the presence of a shield doesn't stop a psi from being able to feed--it's simply redirects what or where the psi is feeding on and from. Almost all shield techniques put out to newbies involves something along the line of envisioning a ball of light and spreading it out to cover them, or a box or bubble of light/energy around them, etc. 

The key point is that those shields, and all shields, are still energy. Which means that while the psi might have difficulty accessing the person directly, they can now simply feed off of the shield. Unfortunately, in most "beginner" techniques, no one mentions where the energy is to come from to make the box/bubble/energy ball, so a very good majority of people tend to take the energy to generate and maintain their shields from themselves. Obviously, this means that instead of the vampire snacking on them by drawing from them directly, they're now being drawn on via proxy, as the vampire draws on the shield and they have to put more of their energy into the shield to counteract it.

So the solution? There can be many, some nicer than others. One I'm fond of for newbies and beginners, that is fairly simple, is to have them set up the shield to draw from the ambient energy around them. There are a few obvious drawbacks to this, namely that if the ambient energy is lower somewhere, the shields will tend to be weaker. However, it's simple and easy for most people to do. Also, it means any psi coming around to munch is going to get what they want and move on, without any real effect on the person who is shielded.

Other...less friendly, and more complex, methods would be things like shielding using a feedback system when someone draws on the shield, they get some sort of undesirable element with it, be it a high-pitched frequency, barbed energy, etc. Drawbacks here are that it typically takes more energy to sustain that type of shield and that not all people will be bothered by it, as a number of people tend to "filter" whatever is drawn in. Another option is to set up a multi-layered shield system that is a series of one-way walls, with the outer layer only allowing energy in and the inner only allowing energy out. That way anyone attempting to feed off of the shield will have a much more difficult time. Some might still manage, but there is usually easier food to be found, since the effect is like trying to feed against a vacuum.

What is a vampire?

Someone asked me a few days ago a fairly common newbie question of “what do you think a vampire is?”. It made me think about what my answer is, beyond the cookie-cutter answer of that a vampire is a person who needs a supplement of some form, be it physical blood or metaphysical energy.

“Vampire” is a seven-letter word that has been assigned to and associated with so many things and has so many varied definitions, depending on who you are asking, that I think it now borders on being utterly meaningless as a description, because there is no one set definition.

There are first, of course, the vampires of Hollywood and folklore. Even this, however, isn't clearcut...is one talking about a vampire like Dracula, truly a zombie-like undead? Or are they talking about the romantic versions of the word embodied by the likes of Anne Rice's Lestat and Louis? Or do they mean those teenage, sparkly beings out of the currently popular Twilight series? Or, in a less dramatic sense, are they referencing those out history with much more mundane explanations, like people buried alive, then exhumed only for people to find that they'd clawed at the insides of their coffins? Even within the world of fiction and lore, the term “vampire” can refer to far too many things.

Beyond the vampires of fiction and lore, there are the medical and pseudomedical and pseudoscientific types of vampirism, such as the thoughts populated of porphyria and the V5 virus, and the vampirism of animals or insects who are termed such only because their diet is purely of blood (such as the vampire bat or mosquito). 

Next, there are those who consider themselves vampires by their choosing to follow a vampiric lifestyle. This tends to split into two categories; those who actively drink blood or draw metaphysical energy from others and, as such, are vampiric, and those who follow a more neogothic lifestyle, complete with capes, fangs, sleeping in coffins, and wearing white makeup and entirely black clothing. To further confuse matters, some of these “vampires”, often referred to as lifestylers by themselves and others, may also be vampires of other definitions of the word, as well, and simply also choose to live a vampiric lifestyle on top of it.

Finally, enter the modern, Western metaphysical sense of the word, and the current vampire community. Even within the community, we cannot seem to agree on a set definition for the term. There is the ever-present argument of energy vs. physical needs, the mostly recognized splits of “types” of vampires, ranging from sangs to psis to tantric to elemental, and branching down into any number of subtypes. Add further the difference and distinction of those who are vampires vs those who are simply vampiric, but are also often labeled as vampires. Also, some within the vampire community will recognize those who are basically temporarily vampires, for any number of reasons ranging from damaged energy systems to being overfed on by another vampire (sympathetic vampirism), as falling under the term of vampires.

My definition of what a vampire is falls into the last category, referring to the more modern, metaphysical line of thinking. I would say that a vampire is 
1.Someone who requires an additional supplement, gained either through physical consumption of certain things (such as blood) or via the direct absorption of metaphysical energy, to be able to maintain the balance of their system, 
2.Such need for supplementation to their system is longterm and constant,
3.Not caused by addiction, fetish, temporary injury or illness (physical or to their energy system), or influence from an outside source.
I cannot stress enough that the key point to my definition is that there be an actual need for energy that is not caused by extenuating circumstances (addiction, illness, etc); all instances of someone feeding due to extenuating circumstances I firmly class as being vampiric, but do not recognize the person as a vampire.

Ultimately, though, I think what it comes down to is that given the myriad assortment of definitions assigned to the word “vampire”, common ground of definitions must be established most any time the term is to be used or there simply will always be conflict and confusion rooted simply in misunderstandings. 

So, what do I think a vampire is? I think it's a person being described by a seven letter word that means absolutely nothing without more information being given.

Vampires in the Media

In response to this, I made this video about real vampires in the media:

Why People Cut, and How to Stop

This is sort of a tangent overview of cutting in general, why many people cut, some alternatives for cutters and ways to stop, and a few more personal comments. And yes, I know this is long--sorry. It needs to be said.

Cutting is becoming more and more common, or at least publicly acknowledged. It also seems to have been adopted as a cultural "norm" within several subcultures, namely groups (however inaccurately) termed "emo" or "goth" by the general populace.

First and foremost, though, cutting is not always an attempt at suicide. Granted, it can be, and is usually interpreted that way by psychiatrists because they have to err on the side of caution. However, there is a rather cliché quote that gets tossed around, which has some basis in truth--"Johnny Razor walked across the street to get attention, but he walked down the street when he wanted to get somewhere."

Why People Cut

People cut for many different reasons, but generally it starts as an impulse. Very few people honestly sit down and think about cutting before doing it the first time. More often, there is something that is so overwhelming and the emotions simply build up and build up until, before one knows it, they're cutting themselves as an attempt to release the emotions. With the physical pain and blood, etc, comes a sense of control and often sort of a euphoric daze, a feeling of "being somewhere else". The emotions build, and soon, the person cuts again, and then again, trying to reach for that release and sense of control. Fairly quickly, it becomes a habit, and then sometimes to the point of an addiction, where all the person can think about is that feeling.

Of course, that is the "popular" explanation for cutting. It isnt always the case, though--some people start to cut because someone they look up to cuts, and they want to be like them, or because they dont feel like they belong and that if they cut, they will find a place with other people who cut. Other people start to cut not because of some social or emotional pressure, but out of simple boredom and curiosity. Obviously, anyone with a blood fetish is much more prone to start cutting.

When people first start cutting, most of the time they dont consciously think of it as being a bad thing, but simply as a coping mechanism. Usually, though, they will know on some level that they shouldnt do it, and will most often try to hide the cuts or find some other way to explain them away ("oh, I must have scraped it on something" or "the cat scratched me" ). The fascination with the physical pain and control and release of emotions does strange things to a cutter's mind, and they will start to like how the cuts look, often "freshening up" the cuts, often with the mentality that it is something that they and only they know about and have complete control over. This, in turn, leads to only more severe scarring that has to be hidden. And, even if someone stops cutting, those scars will be with them for the rest of their lives.

Stopping Cutting

Most habitual and long-term cutters will directly tell people that cutting is a bad thing to do. Does that keep them from doing it? Not always--it is such a habit and addiction that often they end up cutting again, sometimes almost subconsciously. They often will encourage other people to never even try it, because they know the cycle that they can get caught in. That doesnt mean that people who cut are doomed to always keep cutting--there are ways to stop.
One of the first things with any addiction or bad habit that you have is to admit to yourself that you are doing this and that it is bad, and you need to stop. It sounds like a simple step. It's not.

The next thing that helps many people is to tell someone else about it. Keep in mind when you pick who you tell that many people, such as teachers, coaches, school counselors, public officials (cops, firefighters, etc), some health care providers, etc are required by law to report self-harming behaviors. Basically, this means that if you decide to confide in your study-hall teacher that you're cutting, you very well could end up in a psychiatric ward in a hospital for a few days to a couple of weeks, and people like your parents will be told about it. If you are scared that you are going to seriously injure yourself, then this is a wonderful way to get help. If you've just started cutting because you're bored and want to stop, it might not be the best option in the world. Also, dont think that just because you are over 18, you cant be committed to the hospital. In most states in the US, and I would assume also in some other places around the world, you can be held for anywhere from 24 hours to a week against your will if you are considered a danger to yourself. Also, some places cutting is legally considered an attempted suicide, with can be illegal (yes, I know it sounds stupid--it's illegal to try to kill yourself--but in places, that's the law). So, basically, tell someone you trust, and pick that person wisely.

Through talking with someone, you can usually figure out why you're cutting, be it overwhelming emotional stress, boredom, low self-esteem, whatever. Once you know what makes you want to cut, it's easier to recognize that and when you start feeling that way, consciously back away from wanting to cut and the situation itself, if possible.

There are also quite a few tricks and ideas that can help break the habit of cutting. One is wearing a rubber band on your wrist and when you feel like cutting, snapping the band against your skin instead. It still brings the physical pain, and is likely to leave some welts if you do it hard enough, but at least it doesnt leave permanent scars and the welts heal much faster. Slowly, you can try to use the rubber band less and less. Another, mostly for those who are fascinated with how the cuts and blood look, is to keep a red marker handy. It probably sounds somewhat insane, but often drawing red lines on your arm can distract you long enough to keep yourself from cutting. The principle behind this is that it keeps the majority of the senses of cutting without actually doing it, like a smoker trying to stop smoking by using empty pens instead. Repetitive motion is ingrained into the brain, and it can take a long time to break it. A third thing to try, and one that seems quite obvious, is to get rid of all of the things that you cut with. Knives, razor blades, safety pins, sharp scissors, etc. If you dont have it around, you cant use it. Go buy an electric razor instead of using ones that have blades. Use little kids' "safety" scissors that are too dull to cut skin. Everything and anything that you can think of.

Most importantly, know that you arent alone. Many people cut, and many people have stopped cutting. Once you do stop, it doesnt mean that you wont ever want to again, but you have the power over your actions and dont have to give in to the impulse. If you slide back a little and end up cutting again, just start over. Eventually, it'll get easier not to.

A Few Personal Notes

In case anyone is wondering through all of this why I seem to be on a soap box and to be preaching about this, when I'm sort of the neighborhood "Daddy" who doesnt do bad things...I have been, and therefore technically am, a cutter. I fell more into the category of utter boredom and a fascination of blood. To be somewhat stereotypical, I am a Sang and a blood fetishist--of course I've cut. Yes, I try not to make a habit of it, and yes, I have some scars from it. Personal experience has taught me to be that much more careful about what I do, and to be more careful how I interact with donors, as well as to respect them all the more. And because of what I have been through, I am that much more likely to try to convince other people to either never start cutting or to stop if they already do. This is also an invitation of an open door to anyone who does cut and want support in quitting.

~Isealdor~

Vampiric Reflections--An Intro

The name of this private little sounding board is, of course, fully intended as a play on words and stereotypes. But introductions come first...

I am Isealdor, and I am a vampire. I havent attacked a person in...wait. Wrong thing, scratch that. (And no, just for the record, I am not an alcoholic.) Well, scrap that besides the vampire part.

I am what is known within the VC (Vampire Community) as a "real vampire". In short, that means I'm not Lestat, Dracula, or any other fictional Hollywood vampire.

I am what is often termed as a "hybrid" vampire, which means I feed from both drinking blood and psychic energy. Blood-drinking vampires are called Sanguinarians, or sangs, and psychic vampires are called psis. There are a few other types of vampires, most notably sexual vampires. Hybrid is also a term used in roleplay communities, generally meaning that they say they are "1/4 elf, 1/4 therian, 1/6 dragonkin, and 1/3 vampire". Note that these two meanings for hybrid are markedly different, and do not get them confused.

The best working definition I have to date is that a vampire is an individual who, for an as yet unknown reason, requires a supplimentation to his or her diet of energy beyond what is needed by non-vampires, be it through the form of physical consumption of blood or by other means, in order to achieve a physical base-line norm corresponding to that of non-vampire (mundane). A vampire will achieve a state of physical base-line norm when using these methods (diet supplements) and will find a decrease in well being (or base-line norm) when diet supplements are not employed for a period of time.

Simply translated, vampires dont have enough energy and must get energy from somewhere else to be healthy, and we get it either by drinking blood, absorbing energy psychically, or some other similar means.

It also means that the title of this blog has a point--We are people, just like anyone else. We cannot fly, We don't attack people walking through dark alleys, and We most certainly can be seen in mirrors. Forget your misconceptions and false beliefs stemming from fictional characters and step into the real world.

If you've read this far and have no clue what I'm talking about, and think I am one of those weird gothic roleplayer people, you may do one of two things:

• Keep reading what I have to say, learn more about who real vampires are and what we are like, and develop an informed opinion of your own rather than believing what the media and pop culture have spoon fed you, or
• Go find something else with which to occupy your time. I highly recommend www.i-am-bored.com.

If you are confused, but somewhere all of this make sense to you, and you really dont know where to start learning more, I invite you to please come join a few real vampire forums and read everything you can. Ask questions, and dont get frustrated if you get different answers. There are many opinions and theories throughout the community. You have to take what you read and decide what you believe. I recommend the forum I run at www.vampires.nu, as well as a few others which will be edited in as soon as I ask the Admins of them if they dont mind the link. ;) For vampires.nu, please read through the public forums before applying to join, or you arent likely to have learned enough to pass Our application process. Read, drop the roleplay, and be honest and you'll be fine. Noting that you found your way via My blog might also be of benefit.

If you are bored and wondering if I'm ever going to say anything that hasnt been hashed through over and over and over within the community, or if I'll stop going on about My site, this blog is for you. I cant promise you will find any of My ramblings interesting, nor can I promise you will agree with them. But they are here and open, for whomever might want to discuss or just read and maybe think about them a little. And I can promise I wont write all of my posts like they're for 5th graders to read. ;)